Last night I watched the Idol gives back episode and was really moved by Annie Lennox’s performance of “Many Rivers”. I thought the lyrics to this song were really beautiful.
This song made me think about life and the many struggles people find themselves having to work through. I feel very fortunate that I live in a beautiful country and that I have a loving and supportive family, where everyone is healthy and happy. I feel a sense of guilt that this has been my life experience given that so many other people, including millions of children, find themselves in very different situations. I feel like I have been able to stay dry and keep my hemlines up above the water while other people have had to wade their way through. Is there anything I can do to help? Matthew and I try to donate to charities and do our best but somehow it doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like I need to keep trying to find ways to do more.
Our social worker has made the comment several times through this homestudy process that “happy well functioning families don’t give up their children”, meaning that the child we will adopt will have been orphaned because of some unfortunate circumstances. Last night when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep I was wondering where the child we will adopt is now. What are the difficult circumstances that are going to tear his or her birth family apart? Somewhere in Ethiopia is there a sad story unfolding for a child we will someday love…I feel for my future son or daughter and for his or her birth parents and wonder what many rivers they are trying to cross.
Many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over
Wandering I am lost
As I travel along the white cliffs of dover
Many rivers to cross
And it's only my will that keeps me alive
I've been licked, washed up for years
And I merely survive because of my pride
And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be on your own
Love has left me and I don’t know the reason why
Well, I guess I'll have to cry
Many rivers to cross
But just where to begin I'm playing for time
There have been times I find myself
Thinking of committing some dreadful crime
Yes, I've got many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over
Wandering, I am lost
As I travel along the white cliffs of Dover
Yes, I've got many rivers to cross
And I merely survive because of my will...
There’s something about Spring…
1 month ago
8 comments:
Shannon - I love this post, and not just because I have always liked that song, but because that is exactly how I felt when I was waiting for a referral. I finished all the paperwork and sent it off and then went home and thought, ok, now I guess I'm waiting for something awful to happen. Oddly enough the day I sent my paperwork in was the day my son was relinquished. It's sometimes hard to reconcile our happiness at becoming parents with the knowledge that as you say, another family had to be torn apart for it to happen.
btw if you would like an invite to my blog please email me... metricgirl at gmail.com - since as you notice I have been reading and enjoying yours a lot. :)
A very eloquent post.
Didn't she do an awesome job with that song?! I was such a mess watching that show, a real baby, thinking so much about all the kids we met in Ethiopia and all the circumstances of their lives.
Rhonda
I just posted this clip on my blog too, then came over here & saw you felt the same way I did!
And your post is very honest. While waiting for our referral, I was excited & anxious, but then I was also distraught thinking about the pain my child & his family will have to go through.
When I watched Annie Lennox on idol, I was so moved by her song. I kept thinking this is what all these wanna be singers need to aspire to. There was so much real emotion in her singing.
When I watched the clip of her with the boys, I teared up immediately. My oldest is now five and he's so little and so innocent but I can already tell that he would look afte his younger brother if he had to. They fight a lot but they are also developing this extremely strong bond which is amazing...I just feel so fortunate to be with them and so happy that they can enjoy a good life and be kids.
I will carry with me what your social worker keep reminding you. My husband and I struggle with some of the same thoughts you have.
Thank you so much for the comments everyone. I agree with you Janice that Annie Lennox put some real feeling behind her song and wasn't just a wanna be do gooder like some of the others.
Shannon - your post gave me goose bumps. Yvan and I have discussed how our gaining a child means our child had to go thru immense pain and suffering from the loss of their family whether it be thru death of his/ her parents or the parents willingly giving our child up. Both are unimaginable to us!
I recorded Idol gives back and haven't had a chance to watch it....after reading the lyrics to Annie Lennox's song I won't wait another moment.
Words can not express how very proud of you I am!!! Very well said.I had goosebumps.
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