Dossier has landed - WoooHooo!

We got an email this morning saying that our dossier landed in Ethiopia yesterday! Wooohooo.

So now we start our "official wait", which is funny because I feel like we have done a lot of waiting already. It feels good to be moving onwards and upwards.

More on Matthew, Harry Potter and our backsplash to come... there have been some interesting developments today.

Legacy of an adopted child

This is a poem I saw on Alicia and Grant's Blog a few weeks ago and I really liked it, just wanted to share for those of you who maybe have not seen it yet (-:

P.S. My husband is such a kid at heart! From the time I got home tonight to just before bed he has been watching Harry Potter movies. His plan is to watch them all again in the next few days (and he has seen them before) and then read the last book. I guess that Kitchen backsplash project he started is on hold until he can verify that Ron, Hermione and Harry are safe and all is well in Hogwarts (hehe).

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Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember,
The other you call "Mother."

One gave you a nationality,
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent,
The other gave you an aim.

Two different lives shaped
to make yours one;
One became your guiding star,
The other became your sun.

One gave you emotions,
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile,
The other dried your tears.

The first gave you life,
The second taught you to live it.
The first gave you a need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you up,
It was all she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
The age old question through the years;
Heredity or environment -
which are you a product of?

Neither my darling, neither;
Just two different kinds of love.

-Author unknown

The Hospital by the River

I got up early Monday morning to go to work, and just as I was about to leave I started feeling really sick to my stomach. I ended up staying home and not being able to keep any food down all morning. Poor Matthew probably wished he was back at work and not on summer holidays because I kept bugging him to get me some sprite, some soda crackers, some gravol ...please come and rub my back.... I am a big baby! I think part of me recognized an opportunity to be sucked up and went for it (he has the summer off because he works as a teacher - lucky bugger, well lucky except for this past Monday). Anyway between spells of nausea I spent the day reading and sleeping. I managed to finish this book which I had started last week.

I must admit I have been naive because I had no idea women in the world have been suffering through such tragic experiences trying to give birth to children. It is no wonder maternal and infant mortality rates are so high! Apparently it is not uncommon for women to be in labour up to even 6 days with no access to a hospital. In these cases the baby ends up dying inside of the mother, and if she survives it and is finally able to give birth, she is left with a lot of internal damage. It is so sad to think that if that same woman was here she would have a c-section and her baby would survive and have a chance at life. If this isn't bad enough these women often become outcasts in their communities and their husbands often leave them because the fistula that is left allows a continual dripping of urine or feces which is offensive.

Is it just me or do women really get the short end of the stick a lot of times? It was great to read a story about how women are being empowered. This book tells the story of a couple from Australia who open a hospital where they offer hope and a new life to these women. I thought this book also did a good job of explaining the change in government between Haile Selassie and the Dergue.

Needless to say I feel pretty silly for being such a whimp about feeling sick. I can't believe how much I take for granted the access to medical care we have here. Anyways, if you get the chance this is another great read. I heard they also have finished a documentary about the hospital, has anyone seen that?

Almost “officially waiting” and thinking about motherhood

We are still a long way away from taking flight to Ethiopia but the good news is that our dossier will be taking flight as it will be put in the mail and sent to Ethiopia tomorrow. Yippi! I was so happy to hear this. We were told that it should land in Ethiopia in about 1 week and at that time we will start the "official wait" for a referral, the most important wait we have had so far. For those reading who don’t know what a dossier is, it is a package of all the information that was required by the government and the homestudy our social worker did that was just approved by the ministry.

As we move on to this next phase of waiting I am again feeling reflective. Often I wonder where the child is who will someday be our son or daughter, what he or she is doing etc. Tonight I have been wondering about our child’s birth mother. As I am getting closer and closer to becoming a mother I can't help but think about the mother who is getting closer and closer to losing her child. How my greatest joy will come from this woman’s greatest loss. My thoughts are bittersweet. Will we ever meet? Will Matthew and I ever know who she is and the reasons she had for placing her child for adoption?

Although the idea of meeting her is frightening for me in some ways, I really hope we get the chance. I know that only a few families get to meet their child’s birthparents, but if we could I would try to do the following... I would try to anticipate all of the questions our child might have over the years so that I could have answers to share someday. I would take as many pictures as possible so that someday when our son or daughter is looking in the mirror and wondering "whose eyes and nose do mine look like?" I would have a picture to show. If we don’t have an opportunity to meet them I know that as we grow as a family our child will wonder where his birthparents are, what they look like, what they are doing, and I think that it will be hard as a parent to not have these answers.

I am sure over the years we will be thinking of them, as I am tonight, from a half a world away and wondering if they are ever thinking of us. Somewhere out there our child has and will always have a birth family, a birth mother and a birth father, maybe siblings, aunties and uncles, grandparents. A whole family tree with branches and roots that we may only be able to imagine. People who love him or her enough to make sure that he or she makes it to a safe place to be cared for. So even if we never know who they are, even if all we can ever do is imagine them and what they are like, I am starting to realize that they will always be a part of our child’s family and because of that a part of ours.

A long way gone

I finished reading this book a few months ago but wanted to take the time to recommend it on my blog. It is the true story of Ishmael Beah who was a child soldier in Sierra Leone. It is a book about his life as a child in the war that puts a human face to the expierence of being a child soldier. It is a story that explaines how he ended up 'a long way gone' from his own humanity and his later struggle to regain it.

It is a bit graphic at times, but I think it is an important story. UNICEF estimates that today more than 250,000 children are being exploited in armed conflicts.

Below is a video of Ishmael on The Hour.

Nelson Mandela

Happy 90th Birthday to one of the world's great leaders. It is amazing how much one person can change and influence the world.

"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."
Nelson Mandela

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Utopia -GiGi

I really like GiGi (she is an Ethiopian musician who now lives in the USA). I came accross this song tonight and wanted to share it. The video is not that great but if you listen to the song I think you will enjoy it (-:

Friends and Family

It was lots of fun visiting with you guys in Ottawa! We wish we lived closer so that we could hang out with you more often (but maybe then Matthew would start to drive you nuts) - hehe don't tell him I said that (-:
Thanks Mike and Kelly for letting us stay with you, and for all the yummy food (we are now on a strict diet - hehe).
Myron and Lena, congrats again on your new addition to the family! Now that you are down in London I am gearing myself up for another dose of funny when we see you later this week when Myron and Matthew get together.
Really the three of you guys are like the three stooges when you get together - I love it, you're all too funny!
It was great visiting you in Montreal, Ben. We had a lot of fun and must say that you were a first class tour guide! You and Matthew look so intense doing the "fist punch" it makes me laugh. You will never believe this - after Matthew cried like a baby about losing his favourite hat, he found the same one in Ottawa and bought it (too bad you had to listen to him grieve its loss for nothing -haha).

Good News!

WE HAVE MINISTRY APPROVAL!! Yippi!Yesterday I was driving home from work when my husband called me with the good news. We had been waiting just shy of 11 weeks and I was starting to think it was never going to happen. So now our file just needs to be sent to Ottawa to be legalized at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and authenticated at the Ethiopian Embassy. Our dossier will then be off to Ethiopia and we can start the wait for a referral (we were told it should be on its way in 2-4 weeks).
I was so excited in the car when my husband told me the good news that I started to squeel!

Are you out there somewhere little one? We are one step closer to bringing you home to join our family and we are so excited!! While we continue to wait we wonder what you are doing while you are waiting. We hope you are safe and being fed when you are hungry, and that someone is there to comfort you when you cry. Even though we don't know you yet we love you more than you can imagine!

A few more pics

Hudson and Enock getting Peter with the water gun

(these are the three boys who stayed with us).

Matthew's mom dancing with a choir member at the church

Matthew's dad and Booker (our nephew) enjoying the choir as they perform. Hey little Bookie Man look at the camera....ok you are too taken up with the show.

Here are a few more from our holiday:

Thousand Islands cruise near Kingston, Ontario. This is my dream cottage -the tiny one on the tiny island.Old MontrealBen and I standing in line for some famous smoked meat at Schwartz's (Matthew just had to have some)Church we went to see in Montreal. In the middle people are going up on their knees. Matthew, Ben and I.Old Quebec City.Old Quebec City. Chateau FrontenacFalls near Quebec City

Matthew and Bonhomme!!

What one can learn from a child

Sunday night after getting back from our holiday we went to see the African Children’s Choir who were performing in town (thank you to our parents and J and T for coming with us!). We live across the street from a couple who belong to the church where they performed and found out about an opportunity to host three of the little boys and one of their mentors in our home until Wed morning (today). Two of the boys were from Kenya and one was from Uganda.
We were told out of respect not to ask the children about their family backgrounds as it may bring up painful memories. We were told that the children in the choir come from poor areas, many having lost one or both parents, many living in families where people don't get to eat meals everyday. Without this program they would not have an opportunity for an education. During their short time with us we were amazed at how much we could learn from them about appreciating life and seeing joy and happiness in the little things around us. Despite their hardships in the past I don’t think they ever stopped smiling the whole time they were here and their happiness was infectious. They were just too sweet and cute for words. We were talking to some of the other hosting families and everyone was amazed at how well behaved they were, how they never complain about anything, how they don’t fight with each other at all, and how they say please and thank you for everything!

Here are a few examples of how sweet they were:

-The couple across the street was hosting three of the girls and both days after my husband picked the boys up from the church (where they have school during the day) they would cheer and cheer all the way home saying that they were going to beat the girls back to our street. When they got back and arrived first they jumped up and down with joy. The next day when they lost and the girls beat them back they still jumped up and down with joy and made jokes about why they were delayed.
-They cheered with such excitement when we told them we were putting cold pizza in their lunch.
-They called us “auntie” and “uncle” and once Peter mixed it up and called my husband “auntie” which he thought was hilarious and we all had a good laugh.
-We took them out for ice cream and they all choose the blue bubblegum flavour. They were so happy and so focused on eating it, but somehow it ended up in their hair and all over.
-They love to sing so much they would break into song while eating breakfast.
-After eating at the table they each individually asked “Auntie and Uncle may I please be excused?”. They said that every time they were at the table and wanted to get up. After a car ride they would say “thank you for the ride and God bless”.
-They would remind us of their bed time when eating their late night snack – “auntie don’t forget I have to be in bed in 5 minutes”.

What amazing children! When I was doing their laundry for them last night and pulling it out of the dryer (after they had gone to bed) I was a little concerned about how I was going to figure out what articles of clothing belonged to each child (I wanted to have it all ready to go for them in the morning because they were leaving). Then I saw numbers written in black magic marker on every article of clothing (even socks) and remembered the staff had told us each boy has a number and I was able to sort it that way. I almost started to cry in the laundry room because here are these boys who are such beautiful people and they deserve to have a mother who can be with them while they travel to love them, and who can do a simple thing like sort their laundry and know – yes this is Peter’s shirt, or here are Hudson’s pants. But instead they are here with me trying to sort number 22's socks from number 14 and 12. They are away from their home for 14 months staying with different strangers every 2-3 days only starting to feel comfortable when it is time to move onto the next place. They are doing this because it is their opportunity to break free from the poverty around them. It amazes me and inspires me to see how despite everything, they are so grateful for what they have and remain so joyful.

Their actions have taught me that there is hope. Their strength is inspiring. Africa is not a lost cause when children like these ones have all of the possibilities of the future resting in their hands.

The boys (David their mentor who stayed with us, and from left to right Hudson, Enock and Peter)
This was at the splash pad in Ingersoll which they loved the first night and asked to go back to the second night

Cute little Peter who called my husband "auntie" hehe

Enock and Hudson on the water gun. Hudson loved the water gun so much he held onto it tightly the full two hours we were there the first night and the hour we were there the second night.playing outside

The cute card they left us.

This is a good informative video about the choir:

This is a video of the mentor david talking on City TV in Toronto and the choir performing. They were telling us they also got to perform for President Bush, Bono, Madonna, on Ellen...which is kind of neat.

We are back!!

We are back home again!! We got back Sunday night and went to see the African Children's Choir with our families. We had a busy week and it was lots of fun (thanks to my uncle in Montreal and our friends in Ottawa for welcoming us in your homes, we had a great time!!). Below are a couple pictures from Montreal looking out over the city. I will try to post some more pictures in the next day or two when I have a little more time. I will tell you more about the kids from the choir as well and their stay with us at our house...they are so talented and so sweet!!