Canadian Humanitarian

I thought I would let everyone meet our sponsor child Tarmerat. He is a 15 year old boy who lives in Addis Ababa Ethiopia and we are sponsoring him through Canadian Humanitarian. Matthew and I have been sponsoring Tarmerat for a few months now and we are planning to meet him when we travel to Ethiopia. We were told by the Canadian Humanitarian coordinator that his English is very good and we probably would be able to speak with him without needing a translator. The latest update we were given said that he ranked 6th out of the 49 kids in his class.....nice work Tarmerat!! I would really like to see him achieve his dream of being a businessman someday.

I just want to say that I am so thankful that I learned about Canadian Humanitarian through this blogging community. With Canadian Humanitarian it is very easy to get involved and see the good they are doing. They really make you feel like you are a part of what is going on. It only costs $30 a month to sponsor a child through their program. What does $30 a month mean to you? Today I was thinking that before sponsoring Tarmerat that extra $30 a month might have meant: a coffee every day, a night at the movies with my husband, a new t-shirt, a few extra treats in the shopping cart on grocery night. Then I was thinking about what that $30 a month means to one of these kids. Maybe it means school fees and an opportunity for an education, medical care and nutritious food to eat, literacy, shoes and clean clothing. Putting it into perspective this way makes it easy to see where the money has more value.

If you are interested check out Canadian Humanitarian. You can sponsor a child, go on an expedition, and there are lots of other ways you can contribute!

Below are some links to Montages created by fellow bloggers who went on a Canadian Humanitarian Expedition! Very moving!!

Watch Lisa and Julie's Montage from their trip.

Watch Ricki's Montage.

Watch Rhonda's Montage.

Congrats Morrison Family!!

I just wanted to send out a great big congratulations to Trevor and Julie who just brought their son home from Ethiopia!! I am so happy for you guys, it has been so amazing to be able to follow your journey and watch you become a family!!!

Transracial Adoption - Legitimacy as Parents

I little while ago I posted about transracial adoption and our feelings on this subject. If you are interested in reading that post and the discussion that followed you can do so by clicking here.

Nick has just recently written a posted talking about the same issues and I suggest to anyone who is interested to check out her blog by clicking here.

Here is the reply I wrote after reading her post:

I really can relate to these feelings. When you spoke about the couple who have altruistic motives for adopting (because they don’t have any fertility problems that they know of), I felt like you were describing Matthew and I.

I really do get the feeling that as soon as I tell most people we are adopting from Ethiopia they are wondering what our motives are. People are quick to assume that you are adopting because you can’t have children and then when they find out that this was not the reason you are adopting, they jump to another conclusion i.e. like you want the “token” black child (as you talked about). The truth is, like you said, what is “trendy” or easy about having to answer to the legitimacy of your family in the grocery line (as I am sure many of us may have to over the course of our lives).

I believe by adopting we are filling a need for both us and for a child. We really want to be parents and adopting will fill our need in this way. We also think there is a child out there who really needs a family and the love and security that goes with that. As you said, I also get the feeling that it is taboo to admit in an adoption circle that you think you are doing something good for a child by adopting them. The truth is if we didn’t think we were doing something that would benefit the child then we wouldn’t be going through this process.

To me adoption is just another way to build a family, and it doesn’t have to be as big a deal or as complex as it might be made out to be. To me family is defined by the relationships you have with people. I love my husband as much as I love my parents and we are not blood relatives (thank goodness for that-haha). Why would anyone think I can’t find a place in my heart for a child in this same way? To me it’s not that big of a deal.

I agree there are a lot of better ways to try to help the needy, and I don’t think anyone should adopt because their goal is to help world poverty or anything like that. I don’t want my child to grow up feeling like he or she is lucky to be living with me and that he is some sort of charity. No one expects their birth child to say “thanks for giving birth to me” and I wouldn’t expect anything of the sort from a child who becomes part of the family through adoption. But if someone is planning on starting a family anyways, then why not consider the children in the world who don’t have one.

I also know there are a lot of negative aspects for the children who are adopted (loss of birth country, culture etc). This is the very reason my husband and I talked about it for close to a year before we decided to go ahead with our adoption. There are no easy answers, and when it comes down to it I really do believe that we are not the ideal solution for the child we will adopt. Ideal would be to stay with your birth parents in your birth country, but unfortunately “ideal” is not always possible. We will do the best we can to be good parents and to keep our child connected to their culture and past. I would be lying if I didn’t also admit that this has kept me up at night. Can I be the parent that a child like this needs? Again no easy answer, but I am committed to doing my best.

I also don't want to sound like I am complaining about the reaction we get from everyone when we tell them we are adopting. There is a definite feeling that we have to speak to the legitimacy of how we decided to create our family, but it is also true that most people have been extremely positive and supportive. I guess what I also want to acknowledge is that in some ways I understand why other people may question the “legitimacy”, because when Matthew and I first started thinking about adoption we were not well educated on the subject either and had to work through a lot of the same questions to feel confident with making this choice. I want to thank my friends and family for being so supportive. We know that when we bring our child home our child will not be isolated to just having experiences with us, but will be also be greatly influenced by the network of people around us. Thank you everyone who has been so great and supportive!

April 25th – World Malaria Day

Thanks Tanya for telling me about world malaria day and the Nothing But Nets initiative! I did a little reading to see just how big of an issue malaria is in Ethiopia. According to UNICEF:

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-Malaria is a major public health problem in Ethiopia; it contributes up to 20% of under-five deaths. Tragically, in epidemic years, mortality rates of nearly 100,000 children are not uncommon. In the last major malaria epidemic in 2003, there were up to 16 million cases of malaria - 6 million more than an average year.

-Out of an estimated 9 million cases annually, only 4-5 million will be treated in a health facility. It is estimated that only 20 percent of children under five years of age that contact malaria are treated in a facility.

-Malaria is prevalent in 75 percent of the country, putting over 50 million people at risk (out of a country wide population of 77 million).

-Children and pregnant mothers are the most vulnerable.

-Malaria is also known to speed up the onset of AIDS in anyone who is HIV positive.

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The sad thing is that malaria is completely preventable and curable.

*** PLEASE take the time today to click on this link – NothingButNets. All you have to do is submit your email address and one malaria net will be sent to Africa in your honour (this initiative is being funded by the NBA and some other groups). When the page opens there is a game you can play but if you don’t want to play the game just click on the link that says “skip game and send net” (if you don’t want them sending emails to you on a regular basis just remove the check mark where it says “get net news”).

Taste for Life

Matty and I decided to drive into London tonight because he needed to pick up a baseball glove. We thought that since we were in London we would check out the Ethiopian restaurant that I talked about a couple posts back. We both agreed during dinner that every time we eat Ethiopian food we like it more and more! It was really good, the atmosphere in the restaurant was nice and the owners were very friendly.

It was also a special night to go out for dinner because April 23rd in London is the night for “Taste for Life”. This is when participating restaurants donate 25% of the bill to support people with HIV/AIDS. Addis Ababa Restaurant was participating as you can see from my red ribbon.

Yippi for a good night, nice company, good food and a good cause!

Earth Day and Steven Lewis

Happy Earth Day everyone! Thanks to my mom for taking me to listen to Steven Lewis speak tonight in my home town of Stratford Ontario at the earth day event.
This is my second time going to listen to Steven Lewis speak and if you ever get the chance it is well worth your time. He is a very passionate speaker and is very motivating. The first time I heard him speak he was talking about his experiences working as the UN special envoy for HIV/AIDS in Africa. Tonight he was speaking about climate change and the environment.

You can check out his website here: The Steven Lewis Foundation

His foundation is dedicated to easing the pain of HIV/AIDS in Africa

Environmental Karma

This is not adoption related, but I came across these ads and thought they were very clever. The tiny print in the botton reads "What goes around comes around. Keep the sea clean". What a neat idea for an advertisement - Environmental Karma.

Update and Food!

Just thought I would give an update for family/friends who are wondering what the process will look like from here. As soon as we get Matthew's fingerprints back from Japan we will move to this next phase of things:

Approval from Ontario Ministry of Children and Youth Services - 8 - 10 weeks
Ministry of Foreign Affairs (legalized) and Ethiopian Embassy (authenticated) - 2 - 4 weeks
Dossier to Ethiopia - approx. 1 week
Referral time (for an infant up to 12 months old) - 3 - 6 months
Time between Referral and Travel (court date, permanent resident visa, etc.) - up to 3 months for court, + up to 6 for visa

Last night we were out for dinner in London Ontario with some friends and family...mmmm Indian food!! Matthew and I were talking on the drive in about how dissapointed we are that there is only one Ethiopian restaurant in London to choose from (there used to be a second one on Dundas that we really liked but we were convinced it had closed down). We had been past there a bunch of times and it always looked closed.

Well silly us! We drove past it last night and it was open!! Yippi! Hope we can go sometime soon!

For anyone in London area they have a webiste: Addis Ababa Restaurant on Dundas

Homestudy Update!

This is Matty giving the thumbs up as he cleans the night before our social worker came to visit our home a week ago (hehe). I think when we make our memory book for our little one I will put this picture in with a note that says "see how much daddy loved you before he even knew you". Anyone who knows Matthew knows that it must be something important if he is going to jump up and grab a vacuum (someday when our child grows up he or she will see the humour in this).

So our social worker has told us that we don't need to make anymore appointments with her for now and that she is going to work on writing up our homestudy this week. We are still waiting on those darn fingerprints to come back from Japan and when Matthew called this week they told him it would probably be one to two weeks. I am a little stressed about that but hopefully all will go well.

I'm not sure if I clarified this before but for anyone who is curious we have requested a boy or girl up to one year old at the time of placement.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Challenge!! Map Game

I am challenging all of my blog readers to check out the Africa Map Game in the link from my last post and lets see who can get the lowest time (thanks Tanya for this idea!).

Here is the best we could do for scores:

Matthew - 57 seconds
Shannon - 61 seconds

(there is a bit of a learning curve so it took a bunch of tries to get our time down)
Don't forget to post your score in the "comments".

And I think I should fess up and admit that my first score was closer to 160 ! Yikes!!

Africa Map Game

Why is it that I grew up thinking of Africa as one large land mass where everything and everyone is one and the same? I don’t think there are any other continents in the world that I know so little about. Now that I am trying to learn more I am amazed at the number of countries that I have never even heard of and the amount of diversity amongst them. Wow, what amazing culture, food, religion, dance, and language! If it wasn’t for embarking on this process I’m not sure I would have ever known just how different and unique each country is. Why didn’t I learn even a fraction of this growing up? Why don’t we ever really hear about African news or history? Is Africa a forgotten part of the world to us North Americans? Is this a common experience or is this just me growing up in a bubble?

I don’t know the answers, but what I do know is that I am so excited to start to discover what seems like the tip of an iceberg of cultural diversity.

First task, to learn my African geography! This is a fun online game Matthew found that will help.

Check it out if you too feel like you missed out: Click here for the Map Game.

Many Rivers to Cross - A Late Night Reflection

Last night I watched the Idol gives back episode and was really moved by Annie Lennox’s performance of “Many Rivers”. I thought the lyrics to this song were really beautiful.

This song made me think about life and the many struggles people find themselves having to work through. I feel very fortunate that I live in a beautiful country and that I have a loving and supportive family, where everyone is healthy and happy. I feel a sense of guilt that this has been my life experience given that so many other people, including millions of children, find themselves in very different situations. I feel like I have been able to stay dry and keep my hemlines up above the water while other people have had to wade their way through. Is there anything I can do to help? Matthew and I try to donate to charities and do our best but somehow it doesn’t feel like enough. I feel like I need to keep trying to find ways to do more.

Our social worker has made the comment several times through this homestudy process that “happy well functioning families don’t give up their children”, meaning that the child we will adopt will have been orphaned because of some unfortunate circumstances. Last night when I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep I was wondering where the child we will adopt is now. What are the difficult circumstances that are going to tear his or her birth family apart? Somewhere in Ethiopia is there a sad story unfolding for a child we will someday love…I feel for my future son or daughter and for his or her birth parents and wonder what many rivers they are trying to cross.

Many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over
Wandering I am lost
As I travel along the white cliffs of dover

Many rivers to cross
And it's only my will that keeps me alive
I've been licked, washed up for years
And I merely survive because of my pride

And this loneliness won't leave me alone
It's such a drag to be on your own
Love has left me and I don’t know the reason why
Well, I guess I'll have to cry

Many rivers to cross
But just where to begin I'm playing for time
There have been times I find myself
Thinking of committing some dreadful crime

Yes, I've got many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over
Wandering, I am lost
As I travel along the white cliffs of Dover

Yes, I've got many rivers to cross
And I merely survive because of my will...

Comics

I guess this comic is an example of what not to do.

and this one I saw on another blog a while back. It shows a new way of thinking - I love it!

Addis Ababa

Addis Ababa is the capital city in Ethiopia.
-It is the city we will fly into and it is where the transition home is for our adoption agency.
-As of 2007 it had a population of 3,627,934 and is the world’s largest city that is in a landlocked country (a country that is enclosed by land - there are 44 of them in the world).
-It is 2,326 meters above sea level making it the third highest capital city in the world (Toronto is 76m above sea level).

Hello Addis



This is a video I found that has pictures taken from around the city.

Addis in 4:30



I have heard other people say that there is not much order to the flow of traffic in Addis, this video shows someone driving around and now I see how true that is.

One Family

A few weeks ago we ordered this DVD called One Family: An Ethiopian Adoption. It is the story of a couple in Vermont who adopt a 10 year old girl named Meskerem from Ethiopia.

We watched it when we got home from work tonight and couldn’t help but cry. In the video Meskerem’s new adoptive parents go to meet her brother and large extended family in Ethiopia before travelling back to the USA (her family was no longer able to care for her and had to give her up to an orphanage). It reminded me of how I felt at times reading “There is no me without you”. It is just so sad that there are not more ways to keep these children with their extended families (or birth parents if they are there). It is sad to see them lose their birth country, their language, the only friends they have known, and their remaining family. There is no doubt this is a loss the child and surviving family will feel their entire lives.

When people say “oh you want to adopt, that’s great you are saving that child”, the truth is adoption is not the perfect solution for these children. The day we bring our child home will be one of the happiest days of our lives but it will only be made possible because of the immense loss our child and his/her birth family have experienced (and will continue to feel over the course of their lives).

The video is only 35min long and cost us $23 (USD) with shipping. If you are interested here is the link - One Family: An Ethiopian Adoption.